my first interview:

faithful readers,
friends,
fellow wannabes,
futuristic amphibians,
funk-da-fide paraplegics &
fantastic accidents (remember you may have been an accident to your parents, but not to me).

With frenzied excitement I bring to you a fragment of my first ever interview with Freudian-fub-lication, "Fanzine". (actually it's just my old friend Fred Freedmeyer,(not his real name) who is fantastically famous for being first, although debated(ly) fourth for coining the frase freedom fries.) No bother though.
Enjoy, or don't.

Fred: Hey Jesse! It's been,....how long since we've last spoken?

Jesse: Hey! Uuhhh,....... at least 2 years, it's nice to speak to you again. I can't believe you're writing for a magazine right now, well done. Who woulda thought?

Fred: Thanks, some of that hard work paid off in College. But anyways, on to this interview. Thanks for participating, It's sort of a quasi-experiment to see how the modern, young, hipster, professional, internet blogging sensations are, you know, getting on. Their thoughts, expectations, ideas & what drives them to share their thoughts with total strangers

Jesse: "sensations"? Wow, I'm none of those, except, maybe young, depending on who's asking. This is weird, you may have me mistaken for someone else.

Fred: Right, well anyways,, what are you doing these days? You've been posting on blogspot for a few months, right?, I mean, come on, indulge the paying audience, give us some juice.

Jesse: O.K., well ya, I use blogspot to be really, really mean to people. Ya know, write really hurtful things about everyone I know, then, sometimes I also tell a few jokes. I live a pretty boring existence, not sure that anyone wants to hear about it.....but I just try to enjoy myself as much as possible. I'm really into books, films, music, friends, all that art stuff. As far as the writing, I guess it's just ways to pass the time. It's good for my mind. I'm not a writer though, just enjoy parts of it.

Fred: Can you tell me a little bit more about why you chose to start writing poetry?

Jesse: Well, ya, I mean, I guess you can call it poetry, but if you called it that, then that would make me a poet, which I'm not, so to me, it's more just thoughts & ideas. I'll take things from real-life situations, things that bother me, or upset me, or make me happy, or laugh & just create something from it. It's just a way to express myself. Sometimes it feels good to write a big, confused mess. But I use spell check & dictionary.com quite a bit, there, my secrets are out. Oh ya, and the Internet is weird, anyone can do this.

Fred: Do you consider yourself an artist?

Jesse: No, not at all. That's hilarious, I guess it would be my dream job, but hilarious. That's why I write silly little things. I try to avoid pretense, I mean trust me, in my mind, I occasionally think things I've written are good, but I don't really know, or understand what other people think about some of this stuff, I don't even know who, if anyone is reading it. I mean what's good? I don't play music, act, make films, paint, whatever. I wish I could, but I can't afford to move to Manhattan & drugs scare me. I have a boring, mundane office job that I hate 77% of the time.

Fred: ha ha! Nice one. Thanks for sharing. Just to explain a little more about this, we're interviewing 100, 20-30 year olds about their thoughts on art, life, different topics. Then we're going to compile all the information to get a better understanding about what this age group is all about. Sort of a generational census.

Jesse: Cool, sounds like a Woody Allen film. To be honest, that was going to be a question I had for you. This didn't seem like it was even real when you first contacted me. I mean, why would anyone want to interview me, I've not done anything, I guess I fit the age requirements, right? Who knows if I'll ever see any of this.

Fred: Oh you will, trust me, it's on the up & up. One or 2 more questions though.

Jesse: Shoot!

Fred: What would you say is the most important thing in your life right now?

Jesse: Ha, ha!, I knew that was coming, I hate questions like that. Here ya go, I wanna be really sad & depressed & suck at things. Maybe I'll be a total failure. OK, sorry so ya, I've been really happy recently with simply existing, know what I mean?

Fred: Oh here we go,...another one of these pretentious, neo-idealistic, modern ways to explain laziness, do tell, do tell.

Jesse: No I'm serious, maybe I was born in the wrong time, think about it, back in the day "being alive" was all the rage. Can you imagine how important speaking, writing & interacting with family & strangers alike was? I think that came out wrong. What I really believe in, is being happy with yourself, your friends, your family, your choices. Choices, I'm big on that right now. This society we live in puts a lot of time & energy into the words success & money. If you believe in all that, I promise you'll never be totally happy, which is a cliche', but what I mean, is you'll never be able to keep up, you'll always be chasing something bigger * better, until it totally consumes you. People with a lot of money will say that is the poor mans bitterness, but I'm not poor, so I don't know, believe what you want. Success is great, don't get me wrong, do something, ya know? But keep the important things close by. Work can be so lame, maybe I am bitter. Sometimes I feel like I can't really explain what I'm trying to say, but just living is a big thing for me. I'm trying to balance just being content with what I have, ya know? I'm not really the type of person who is driven by money or success. I don't get it. Discard the frivolousness. Is that even a word?

Fred: Ya, I think it is. Well, then what drives you?

Jesse: I don't know, a 2005 Chevy Malibu.

Fred: No seriously, this is good, ...this will be good question.

Jesse: UUUhhh, I mean it's the little things in'it? Like how hot my coffee is, capturing that little moment on something you've written, that one part in that song, that shot in that film,...but also, I guess my health,..how different forms of art effect me,...just,..realizing different things, growing, educating myself, being semi-intelligent, relaxing, the relationships I manage. I don't know, you caught me off guard, but those things are important to me.

Fred: Thanks for opening up a little. This is exactly what we are hoping we can get from other people. That concludes this short interview. Thanks for indulging us. Can I follow up with you sometime soon?

Jesse: ya sure, thanks, that wasn't so bad, lemme know how this whole thing ends up. You made me feel more important than I actually am. Can you send me a transcript of this, or the actual article when it comes out? I wanna share it.

Fred: ya, give me a day or 2, I'll send this transcript, and the magazine comes out in August. Thanks again Jesse, Take care! I'll be in touch.

Jesse: Thanks, see-ya.