don't walk away from the glass!

a couple of weeks ago an old friend (lets call him Mr. Sea) I had in high school contacted me totally out of the blue. He somehow found me on myspace, or maybe he emailed me, I don't remember. I'm guessing he ran into my Uncle who still lives in the area, and got to me that way. It looks as if we're slowly going to try to "re-kindle" (that's in quotes because for some reason it sounds a little too romantic) the friendship we had 9 years ago. HHmmm, "friendship we had 9 years ago", yep, tumultuous is a good word to start off with. Vociferous, maybe. Destructive? I don't know. Those were the old days when I was younger, fatter, and had more pizza toppings on my face but had a loyal buddy to cope with the day to day grind that is public high school, as I'm sure we're all aware of.

After high school, Mr. Sea and I (sort of) went our separate ways. We were the same age, but things like that just seem to happen. No bad blood, nothing substantial to report, just grew apart a little. Of course we still talked every once in a while, I would often run into him at this little coffee shop that was beach side. When I did see him, I noticed minor changes in his behavior. It's kind of hard to explain actually. Everytime I saw him, he was a little less than who he was the previous time. Imagine a massive snowball actually rolling back up a mountain and getting smaller and smaller. Wouldn't this look odd to you? It stuck out to me in that way. That's how I would explain each encounter with Mr. Sea. It's like I could tell something was wrong but felt that I couldn't help him if he didn't help himself. With his behavior the way it was, the isolation and treatment of his friends and family, there was only (in my mind) one explanation. He was depressed. I finally planned my big "intervention" with Mr. Sea. I had to at least try to push him to help himself. I'd seen too many other relationships around him crumble because of his mental illness. All I could do is let him know that I cared for him. Some of the questions I asked him: Wouldn't you go to the Doctor if you had a stomach virus or sore throat? How is depression different? Do you actually think that your friends and family will think any different of you for seeking help for something that is out of your control? Shame on you if you do. I hate to say it but at the present moment, I'm not sure this story has, or will have a happy ending. As most of you know, I moved away shortly after my first year of college in Florida. We all but cut ties with each other as we saw how hard living 3 states away can effect a friendship. I've still yet to really hear how he faired in the end with his problems. Time will tell.

Think of it like this. Let's say that you accidentally break a glass while cleaning around your kitchen. It was an accident mind you, but really in the grand scheme of things, you had no control over it. What are you going to do? Leave the broken glass lying there to cut you again in the future. Maybe your wife, son, or friend steps on it and hurts themselves. No!, you clean up the glass. You recognize the problem and address it before it can hurt you again,.....you clean it up.

jesse