it was like a symphony of imagination,...

,...and with that summation in hand I walked out of Tarsem's The Fall, not a changed man, but a happy one.

Well done, well done!

equal parts brilliant visual imagery mixed with subtle child innocence, The Fall captures an epic story of revenge, love, depression & imagination that is very pleasing to the eye.

For the last 20 years, Tarsem has been mostly known for directing music videos & TV commercials. Never a big fan of the Jennifer Lopez vehicle, The Cell. But hey, spend millions of your own money, film in over 28 countries for 4 years, ax Lopez, and you're starting to get warmer.

The movie picks up with a tragic accident involving a silent film star named Roy. Legs paralyzed, Roy ends up in a hospital soon befriended by a little girl named Alexandria. Roy begins to tell stories of wild imagination to Alexandria who turns these stories into vast visual symphonies. Roy has lost the love of his life due to his tragic accident. Soon after he looses all will to live, even duping little Alexandria into stealing a bottle full of morphine pills so he can end his life. Alexandria falls and seriously injures herself while trying to steal the pills. A tearful Alexandria demands that the story be finished, only Roy wants to end the story with his death, a parallel to his desires in real life. I won't parley anymore for those of you who plan to view the film, but the originality and visual prowess of the film make it positively superb.

back pocket lint

I've got this silly little notebook that I carry around that I'll often times scribble words into. It's kind of funny, because a percentage of the time (albeit a small one) these words come to the page in a vomitus mess. There's something about these writings though that reel me back in, maybe I'm trying to figure out a better way to write them. Keep in mind that for me, everyday is a constant struggle to get words right. More on that later. I think for the most part, I just love/hate them, there's a good idea in there somewhere but I've not been able to find that cohesiveness that I'm looking for.

I guess that fact leads me to another thought I had about the point of all this. I sat pondering earlier how many people actually get something out of anything I've written. I came to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter. I figured that at a minimum, 75%-83% of the energy I spend writing poetry, or whatever else, is solely for me. Sorry, I hope I'm not bursting any snot bubbles here, but I guess the best way to describe this whole project, is simply (for lack of a better word) a project. Maybe I'm testing myself. Maybe the only way I'll sleep at night is if I get this stuff outta my head. I think I just needed something else to do. An experiment! I like that better.

Anyway.

I wrote a poem a long time ago that I'm not so sure about. It's a little 5th grade, (eeeewwww, you just got dissed, man that was cold) for me, but, I suppose the world still has 5th graders in it.

(more stinky ones to come soon)

On Criticism:
Does your addiction
lead to an affliction
of your health?
Mine doesn't!
I speak Opinions
to a Rhythm,
it's not a sign of wealth.
Let me make a correction,
The assignment was
to spark a connection.
it was conceived
to provoke a reaction.
One mans trash,
another mans treasure.
So I haven't given
you any pleasure?
I should try better.
Before I go,
I should ask you though,
What do you find brilliant?
Would you grace us with your presence?
Don't stand on the fence.
This is your chance.
What's that soft aroma I perceive?
Could it be the "scent" of jealousy?
You should get back to me.
On second thought: Don't!
I'll rest easy.
I've already buried those demons.

waiting,...

Waiting for the words to come
to write great thoughts,
asking a question &
waiting for a response.

Waiting for the sun
to spark my imagination,
waiting to listen in on a
strangers conversation.

Attentive: Perked up like dogs ears,
waiting for something to happen,
been waiting for several years.

Things I've found while waiting:
love, passion, matching socks,
new faces, & mild anticipation.

Waiting for your first big break,
waiting for the sun to dry out a lake.
Waiting like a child for a package in the mail,
waiting like you're innocent, alone, stuck in jail.

Waiting for the medicine to take the pain away,
waiting like a Bride, weeks before her wedding day.

Continue to wait as long as you can,
waiting like a boy waits to become a man.
Waiting like an adolescent for his first date,
don't hold your breathe, simply wait.

The Interview

It's just your body
rejecting the situation.
Mind's racing
2nd guessing
voice cracking
Why am I being
so
incredibly
fake?
Because you have to live
(eat/rent)
Again,
voice cracking
I feel this big right now
who is this stranger in front of me?
Did he brush this morning?
Baseball tryouts didn't go so well either.
Everybody look at me.

I wonder if I could survive out in
the middle of the Pacific Ocean
with this guy.
Sitting in a lifeboat,
exchanging
mysterious, deceitful glares
like handshakes.
The lack of emotional investment
would allow me to push him overboard.
Bingo!
More food for me.
Survival of the slickest.

37 yrs. later, still with the company.
based on
13 minutes of the "O.K. Lies"
Oh sweet modern professionalism,
I'll never quite tire of dating
your ugly sister.

local celebrities hang out their car windows & yell things at me, pt.2

geez people,
Lex., K-Y.
stand up and be counted.
as of today, we will no longer
be issuing a drivers license
to 12 year olds.
the following things
are what people think
of me when I step foot
outside.
(I know this, because
I have mind reading
capabilities.)

criminal,
burglar,
poor,
gay,
homeless bum,
druggie,
ex-con,
war criminal,
Nazi,
Satan worshiper,
possibly even a
Communist.

What gives?
Come on, let's get
those American flag
bumper stickers out again.
Remember those days?

Oh, good news, the small
business loan you applied for
to fill up your SUV was approved.
No worries.

Hey,
Even I know when it's time
to close the lid on the PB.
I'm just out for a walkffee,
(that's walking for a coffee)
I'm not voting for Hillary.
I've got a healthy mind,
I used to have short hair,
those buttons I post are just
considered a piece of flair.

I get it now,
It's just a power thing,
I understand.
The American way,
right?
If you ain't just like us,
well, you know the rest.

Cheers, I'm off for an apple.
Is that going to be O.K. with
everyone?
After that I'm going to
set outside and blatantly judge
people.
Screw this, I'm growing
another beard.

listless collective interest

displaced qualities abound
while weathering the storm.
escape reality by living
"in your dreams".
you wanna do something
different with your life?
check around both shoulder's
& blind spots
make sure no one is looking.
when the coast is clear,
begin the long, slow,
daunting, tumultuous
albeit remunerative
ascent to the summit.
here, you'll find clarity.

be on the lookout (tip-toes)
for those monsters
who are reminiscent of dogs,
not in an insulting way,
but in a wagging tail,
drool, barking,
chasing inanimate objects
sort of way.
they'll dupe you
if you're not cautious.

keep it quiet,
keep this to yourself.
don't let anyone in on this,
this isn't a rock show.
are you experiencing problems
in your current occupation?
It's possible that you're already
tugging
on the proverbial root.
don't pull too hard

I'll look into all this,
I'm free,
but not to be
bothered.
I'm looking for something.

explosions in the sky,...

are an instrumental band from Austin, TX. that I feel the overwhelming need to report on. I first heard them 6 or so months ago on the PBS show Austin City Limits. On first listen, I thought they were right up my alley. They play songs that are slow to build and often evolve into large epic pieces, layering melodies against passionate sonic chaos. (readers note: the words "sonic chaos" were note mine, I stole them).

On second listen, I found them on the highly worthy NPR podcast, All Songs Considered. The live concert from the 9:30 club in Washington D.C. was just what I needed that Saturday morning at 3:30am to occupy my mind.

A few minutes into the show, I started to question my admiration for the band. My interest was definitely peaked, but the reason behind this new found curiosity was simply: do I like this sound? Then I started to question their sound. Then I started to question the idiots in the crowd who were screaming in between every song. I was telling myself at any second someone was going to shout "Freebird". I know, I know I'm a snob, get over it. Shut up and let the music effect you. You have to give a little of yourself for that to happen. Concerts and Shows are a mutual experience.

O.K., stepping off the proverbial soapbox now.

Back to the sound. Now keep in mind it's now around 4 a.m. So that variable may need to be taken into consideration here, but I'm thinking about this sound, is this a likable sound? Do they really even want to make a "likable" sound? Probably not, when 10 minutes sprawling epics are the norm, I can't imagine much of a chance for commercial success. (I swear this all makes such perfect sense in my mind.) I finally decided that I suppose I do "like" the band, but that I'm more interested in their sound, what they're trying to create, and the idea of them, than the idea of just checking yes, or no.

Check them out, they're interesting

Derailment:

Imagine a long, slender, (yes) sexy train
descending down a slick, silver track
like a child on a water slide.
This train was made somewhere around,
or should I say, between 25-30 years ago.

By all accounts, it's not the best train available.
It hasn't won any "awards".
Do they give awards for trains?
It doesn't matter.
It is however widely regarded
(even amongst it's peers) as a
good, solid, healthy and at times,
"smart" piece of modern industry.
It's a product of its environment.

Occasionally, outside influences can
cause what's known in the train world as,
"Minor Momentary Derailments", or MMD's.
I suppose that these MMD's
are what gives the train its character.
Have you ever heard the phrase:
"On the Brink"?

One time a rock thrown by a citizen
of the local community caused the train
to temporarily derail. Another instance of
MMD occured from a tremor that stemmed
from a large earthquake the next town over.
It's obivious that these times of derailmet
are very shaky for the train.

I suppose what makes the train a champ
is how it corrects itself after these
MMD's. Some trains falter from the track
and cause mass destruction. Others
temporarily correct themselves only
to never take the track again.

Remember the next time you're on a
train, outside influence can cause
derailment.

beginning to get a better understanding

Luck fell from the Sky:
it wasn't as if it was planned, (well it kind of was)
did I deserve it?
That face, that beautiful,
delicate face.
Ah, sweet innocent naiveté
written on the sleeve!
The neighbors grass was burnt
in a fire, no one was hurt.
Hey, I got a great idea:
Let's go for a roller coaster ride!
Sound fun?
There will be ups & downs,
a little scary at times,
exhilarating, gassy,
frightening, but totally
worth it in the end.
There are times, Yes, clear & concise
times where self-realization
enters in like an opening night crowd.
They are nice moments because remember,
everyone is a paying customer.
Remember in Shawshank Redemption
when Tim Robbins was standing in the
water, exultant & triumphant,
with the rain falling on his face?
You're that rain.
You cleanse me.
I bet he felt that luck fell
from the sky.
Hadn't he just crawled out of a sewer?
Thanks for helping me
keep my head up!

Champions of Europe!!!

I never want to go through any of that again.

I'm in pain, and very joyous.

Exhausted.

Brilliant!

5/21/08

O.K., so this is it.
today is the day. the biggest day in the history of my adult sporting life.
right now I'm just really trying to focus on my breathing.
keep positive thoughts.
don't let the mind wander. stay away from all the pre-match hype.
today is a celebration.
European Cup Final!
Moscow
please stupid Yobs behave yourselves.
Don't cheapen this you drunken fools,
that is my message to you.
my mind is starting to spin,
I'm leaving work at noon.
we can do this right?
I'm apart of this, I'm going to play my part.
I think I'll just watch the game at home, not at The Pub.
Don't wanna eat,,don't wanna drink.
This is too important.
I'm playing all these scenarios out in my head.
what if we go a goal down?
what if we go a goal up?
what if Rooney scores the winner, late?
what if my heart starts getting too fast?
I'm having my coffee now, as to not have any later,
closer to kick off. that would be a bad combination.
Well, come on lads!
do this.
Be calm, relax.

thoughts of a dying millionaire

a million bucks is expensive sadness
I used to have it,
but now the thought breeds madness.
here you are dear,
I finally bought you that red dress.
my desires conspired
to create a mess.
simple pleasures
vanished into the night
while anxious treasures
never leave my sight.
greed leads to greed leads to wealth.
wealth=paranoia=detrimental health.
misplaced fortunes & feelings of despair
not to worry love,
the private jet can take us there.
surrounded by millions
of your closest friends,
& kicking the bucket
exclusively in the end.

Oh Well. (ode to O. Welles)

heroes can be born in dark alleys
just as revolutionaries can dominate political rallies.
artists will thrive away from corporate nightmares
ask the genius who made it before anyone else got there.

Cuckoo clocks,
who woulda thought?
Careful, you'll bump your head on the ceiling.
One word adventures to explain a life?
European Intrigue catch ya on a bad night?
Or was it the Mexican border town
that turned your smile upside down?

ahead of his time
fuse burned out too quick
let himself go
in the end
lonely, sad
misunderstood
rosebud
unfinished things
love from many
visuals change lives

let the bidding begin,....

because: to the Victor goes the spoils!
Knoxville, TN. Sometime in late June.
1 extra tic.
total strangers need not apply.
the stars and moon will align
to form a beautiful light shone
down upon the Civic Auditorium.

you know how I can be reached.

it was a cool, damp Sunday morning. The kind where you wish it would rain a little harder so you could stay in bed and listen to it, maybe crack the window a little bit. No music, or T.V. yet. The builders across the way seem to have gotten an earlier start than you have, so have some birds. Why aren't you up and about yet? What did you do yesterday that allows you to stay content under those covers? Maybe it was that walk. (what did I tell you about there always being "something"?) You're too busy collecting your thoughts, kind of like a finished game of blackjack. Picking up the pieces one by one until they form something bigger, cohesive. What's changed since you were younger? Well, age for one thing. Isn't that enough? By this time, those little black speakers are talking to you, and saying nice things for that matter. Have you ever been out in this city before it wakes up? That's how you want to live, free reign, peace & quiet. Sometimes this place is very insipid to you though. New. Lacking. All this music you've been listening to lately seems to run very parallel to your life. You can literally look to your left or right and see it running alongside you. Very weird. Not really mutualistic, because what can tiny, digital, electronic files gain from a human being? You love slash hate the idea of Robots taking over tasks that humans once did, like answering a phone or something. It's all very epic, and science fiction. Romantic, like one final battle between the 2, where humans win out solely based on the fact that we have the ability to Love. Muddled though. Convoluted.

ways to pass the time, pt. 2

windy, sunny,
lazy,
perplexed, content.

anyway.....

the best film ever about being a young adolescence.

Francois Truffaut's The 400 Blows

innocence, crime, misunderstandings, Balzac.

very simple approach to story telling.
there's not a whole lot done in the film for pure effect

lest we not forget the beautiful city
and so the French new wave of cinema was born
see it, rent it, buy it, borrow it, but don't steal it.

Woody A., and Diane K., in Manhattan, tonight.

local celebrities hang out their car windows & yell things at me.

and with that half eaten apple,
I threw my problems in the trash.

Only problem is that I bought
a bushle of 'em at the store.

Ya, those inhibitions were a dime a dozen.
Never one to pass up a good deal!
I'd aquire one on a different day.

My choices were as follows:
eat it
make applesauce
shoot it off someone's head.

"This is almost absurd", said the baker.
"preposterous", chimmed the locksmith.
"unequivocally ridiculous", negotiated the grocer.

dig down deep, really deep.
kick that dam down with
Chun Li's Spinning Bird Kick.
allow the fluid to drain out,
tilt it to the left a little,....
there ya go. Good.
There they go, apple cores and all.
See, told ya so.

fun, bright, deep, dark, issues. (with me brain & me head)

this Vagal Attack's been
settin' my mind back.
"Google it if you want to."
Geez Doc., whacking my knee like
that makes me not wanna trust you.


I'm goin' need to lay down for a minute,
my head's spinnin', and for a second
there, I thought God was gonna end it.
I was just doing my best Casper impersonation.
I figured it was the only way to get an explanation
as to why my brain sometimes feels pain.


The reason for your ailment is unknown Son,
pop these pills when you feel it coming on,
these absolutely aren't to be used for fun!
Not to worry Doc., I'll be responsible.
After 1, I'm sure I'll have my fill.
I'll be back in 6 months on a Monday.
This blood pressure medicine isn't for me,
how much was my Co-Pay?

-----------------------------------------------

how much $$ does it take to win the day?
to come out ahead, make more than you flake?
why aren't there kings & queens anymore?
if there were, I bet I would be one.
I wouldn't be able to handle that though,
the pressure & responsibility & people
constantly coming up to me demanding certain
things. I would want to be left alone (desert island?)
for a little while, of course until I got lonely.
Then I would surround myself with friends & family.
Vicious cycle.
Even if I was a king,
I probably-wouldn't-ever-be-totally-satisfied.
It'd be 1 thing or another with me.
Never satisfied.
Always something.
Ups & Downs.
I'd be a bad ruler.
Someone else could do it.
Things would loom over my head like bird poop.
What would happen is that the people of my Kingdom
would watch me ever so closely, and my mood's
would effect theirs. Wouldn't that be crazy?
I'd get them though, I'd play tricks on them.
Tell them to turn around and look the other way,
maybe do the hookie-pookie. My entire
Kingdom, doing a silly dance, wouldn't
that be a sight?
Well all that's never going to happen, so
I'll stay content here with my little
bumble bee, in my Kingdom.

it'll be the hardest thing you've ever done.

quickly, why does the butt of a loaf of bread never get any love? you know what I mean? don't we all avoid it til we finally reach the bottom end of the butt? then what do you have? 2 butts. well, I changed that this morning. I embraced it. grabbed that end first off. PBJ goin' dominate my noon time. stop hatin' on the butt end of a loaf of bread, it's been working hard for years.

In the process of taking some advice. Class, raise your hands if you are under the age of, let's say 30-32. O.K., hands down. If you raised your hands, then there is a pretty good chance you don't have a lot of experience writing letters.

Nope,..email, texting, IM, and the like doesn't count. I'm talking about serious correspondence here. Sitting down, shut the idiot box off, (music is allowed) pen, paper, and thoughts. It'll be the hardest thing you've recently done. No backspace/delete, no spell check, no keyboard. I promise you, try it, and you'll feel like an 8 year old who hasn't taken his Ritalin. Life in the 40's wasn't as easy as we have it these days.

Of course the reason for this rant, is I've recently attempted this feat of equal parts patience and literary prowess. I took some advice, and am simply reporting back the results. Hopefully it will end up being beneficial in the end.

This is what a Migraine feels like. (grainy quality and all) Some little pain fairy flutters and flips around, obstructing my vision. She then slices part of my head off, and claims her little pain territory, not by pissing on my brain (that would just be insulting, and feel better than the pain) but by stabbing my brain with a little fairy flag. Sooner or later I get the courage and load a buck shot into a 12 gauge shot gun, and blow her back to fairy land, but by then the damage is done. Oh, modern medicine save me.

Dirty old Dog, Slow Down

days run together
like a pack of wild dogs.
Snarling, sometimes furious.
No owner to tame them.
Liked a planned vacation,
those hounds can often display
beauty from a far.
The closer the pack gets,
the faster they run
right past you on their
way to ending,
just to start again.
Other ways to describe days
you ask:
mini-avalanches, or using a
licorice rope to climb
out of a hole.
Maybe pure joy, as long as
the coffee's hot.
Time, slow down.
you'll slip and hurt yourself
if you don't.
This is your last warning.

last night,..

"your heart is nature,
your head is culture".

so said that Sexy, Irish, Ronald McDonald looking man last night. Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova made up approx. 1/3rd of The Swell Season. They graciously docked their tour bus in Louisville, KY last night and slowly made their way to the Brown Theatre from the much lauded Barack Obama talk mere feet away. If there's one thing I learned from last nights show, it was how much Irish dudes love Obama. Numerous times through the show Hansard expressed his admiration for the Senator. Quite the story teller that Hansard is as well.

The show itself was just as amazing as I thought it would be. Do you know what a guitar sounds like when used as a machine gun? I didn't, until Hansards' version of Van Morrisons' Astral Weeks . I've never seen or heard someone destroy an acoustic guitar like he did.

At the beginning of the night, Hansard took the stage by himself and quickly approached the front of the stage, took to his knees and belted out a intimate version of Say it to Me Now. An effective, powerful way to start off the show.

Beautiful, layered music mixed with stories of heartbreak, love, & relationships filled the rest of the night. Every song itself was worth the price of the ticket.

What's next for the European duo? Not sure. Surely they won't make another movie. There is no way the originality and simplicity of Once can ever be duplicated. My guess, due to the number of new songs they played last night, is that they'll write and record another album. Beauty abounds when these 2 are together.

I wonder if Hansard ever used the saying, "we could make beautiful music together" as a pick up line? Because in reality, they ended up together and did indeed make something special.

jess

1-800

These low ceilings are
closing in on me.
I'm to be crushed,
I just know it.
It's O.K., I always
wanted to be like Han Solo.
Sometimes I feel like a dog
who is chasing his tail around
in circles.
Either I think my own tail
will taste good, or maybe
I think there's a nice,
corporate bone waiting for me
at the end of it all.
I have these thoughts a few
times a week.
The only thing worse than
important people are people
who think they are important.

Budding young things
with their speech and khakis,
embrace those marionette strings.
Do whatever it takes, feed the hunger.

inspiration or end-sp-rations or dreams.

In the case of me not surviving the following, I bequeath my iPod to my wife Angela.

B: continue to listen to good music everyday and let it seep inside you and improve your quality of life. You're unfortunately going to have to finish every book I've purchased recently that I haven't gotten to yet, and while you're at it, all the ones still out there I wanted to read.

Benton: I'm giving you my greatest line ever. Take it as your own, mold it, care for it, and when you're ready, release it to the world along with some friends, see what it does. The before and after will be up to you.

let’s tell ghost stories on the way. And drink cold beer when we get there

That's all I'm giving away right now folks, come back tomorrow for more free stuff.
Getting back on track now.

Inspiration

It's all out there!:-),...or it's all out, there.:-(
Is your glass half empty or half drool?
It can't be bottled or sold and
When I dream, I'm standing naked in a field
at night reaching up and picking it off a tree,
like fruit.
Only to realize it's out there on those stars.
I can't reach that far.
Those apples, grapes, and oranges are sour though.
Pull in your lines.
Call off the dogs.
Drop back and kick.
It's going to smack
you in the face like
the wind off a tall building.
It could also smack you
in the face like someone smacking
you in the face.
The only difference is that it won't
hurt. You'll just wanna go
do something about it.

It creates a sense of Urgency,
and will come from the things you see.
The people you encounter will undoubtedly
fulfill your purpose of being.
So survive this day and we'll worry
about the next one tomorrow,
when it's safer.

In case you hadn't heard,....(17)

Cheers to the Lads.

happy mother's day,.......

to you!
thanks for all those hot fudge sundae's, butt wiping's, and snack plates.

this american life #328.

picky little buggers
emulating brothers
on the tube
while parsimonious adults
drink and lick salt.
this aMERICAN life
brings joy and strife
to those who say so.
sentient hipsters
watch from the sidelines
waiting for their chance to shine
stereotypical-stereotypes abound with the like
while a husband and wife duo dominate the mic.
7 days from now I'll be weak.
they've captured the Zeitgeist by the tail
in their attempts to be meek.

The Adventures of Wayne Kerr

gamer-extraordinaire
dungeons & dragons
do you dare?
I've got a fashion sense as crisp
as a new hundred dollar bill
dark & mysterious wins this race
ladies Love me for this sweet face
I like to keep the hair
old school from the 70's
my next opponent will be
begging for mercy on his knees!
the shades help me keep a low profile
I'll be famous one day, so
I'm starting to work on my smile
video games, ladies & cash rule my world
while Star Wars, X-Men, Mountain Dew & risk
dominate my life at night
of course, that's when I get finished
with the ladies.

Things I hate:
Jocks
"Caffeine Free"
Stargate SG-1
The color Yellow
Sega Dreamcast
Shadows of the Realm 2 (1 and 3 are more true to the genre)

Things I love:
Hero clicks
7-11
Midnight Movies
Gremlins
ComicCons

good times, bad times.

the following nonsensical madness has nothing what-so-ever to do with any family, relatives, friends, mates, geezers, dogs, cats, or gold fish named Sammy that I have ever come into contact with. these thoughts are simply observations that I have picked up "along the way" in my 26.7 years of earth dwelling. Enjoy, or don't.


bad times

lost in a trance
of a meaningless romance.
How do I get out of here?
I've been thinking of the ways
to plan my great mistake,..
..I mean escape.
dirty little lies make me worry.
I wouldn't give up just yet.
find the beauty:
grace, maybe dedication.

Nope, outta here.
It's 2pm, your shift isn't over yet.
Screw it, I'll go home sick.
I've fallen asleep counting the dead ends.
A clean slate and new mate is what I'll be
looking for on my next date.
Love isn't a bomb that spreads,
it's a selfish knife stuck in my eye,
obstructing my vision.
Rest in pieces my friend,
this journey has found an end.



good times

lost in a trance
of a meaningful romance.
can I begin to count the ways
you turn me on?
forever won't be quite long enough!
I have more time to Love you in my life
than to breathe.
When you weren't looking, I've stolen
secrets out of your soul,
& placed them in my heart.
There they will stay,
safely locked away.
Until one day, when I have
an audience with God himself,
we'll sit down together and prove
his worth as a creator.

a spoonful of peanut butter can cure just about anything.

this can be:

Injuries: apply PB to infected/sore/bruised spot, allow 0-4 minutes to set, simply go about your day.

Bald Spots: PB can help to grow hair in those embarrassing spots. Spread with half mixture of reduced fat PB- half mixture of regular. This will allow the scalp pores to quickly absorb magical ingredients.

Tests/Homework: for all you High School/College kids out there. "Accidentally" spill PB on your document. Again, allow 0-4 minutes for it to set. Answers will magically appear on said document.

Flat tires: inject PB into tire with syringe, PB will coat damaged area. allow 10 minutes for solidification, inflate to 45 PSI, drive to dance club.

Blindness: pretty obvious here. Spread PB over effected eyes. (this time) PB will work instantly to relieve disability.

It's also been said that PB can be an everyday "substitute" for the following.
*Readers Note*
The following are strictly hear-say, and no scientific evidence or proof has come before the authors eyes.

Hair-gel
Fingernail polish remover
Toliet paper (didn't understand this one)
Cd Scratch remover
Toothpaste
Umbrella polish
Gasoline/Petrol


Painfully, thanks.

So,.....there!

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. ~Charles Dickens

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. ~Margaret Atwood

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems. ~Rainer Maria Rilke

April hath put a spirit of youth in everything. ~William Shakespeare

O.K., Class. I know I'm a few weeks behind, but it's not Summer yet, and Winter is but a memory of pain in my fingers. So without further ado, I'll proceed with some announcements and then we can have class.

A movie came out over the weekend, and in those 3 days, (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) that film made ~$380 in every second of the entire weekend.

With one game remaining, the Manchester United Football Club currently stand top of the league and level on points with London side Chelsea Football Club. If they both win this Sunday, Manchester United will win the Barclays Premier League solely on goal deferential. This will be the first time the English league has ever concluded in such a dramatic fashion.

This Sunday, May, 11th is Mother's Day. Just a reminder. Make sure you do something nice for your Mum. There is a good chance she helped you out many a time when you needed it.

On to today's lesson.

I Write What I See,..Well,..Maybe.


Here they come, this race to be a man.
Ways to Impress you ask?, A Spray on Tan.
Unlock the gate, here come the sheep.
Social Networking makes me weep.
Do I have to participate?

"Man, I'm only trying to get a date"

All these add ons
make me feel wrong.
You're never satisfied,
careful, you'll get fried.

"Your just multiplying your ways to morn"

Sorry, a charlatan finds me forlorn.
I really need to finish my book.

"This club's going to be off the hook".

Isn't it all so frivolous?
Even children say shiny objects impress us.

It's the beauty pageant from Hell.
This season will cause a swell.
Take that rule book off the shelf
It's every man for himself,
to look his best, collect as many trophies as he can.
The 2 for 1's given him a helping hand.

They're coming down the home stretch,
neck and neck, approaching the finish line,
Will he succeed in bagging his catch?

Your place or mine?

(If I "want to be" a writer, does that make me a "wannabe?")

so the other day I saw a bum walking on the side of the road. It was early on in the day, maybe a few minutes before 7 a.m. It was chilly and he looked gruff, as most homeless people do. This one second sparked a thought in my mind. Life can sometimes be like a match in that way, leading to something bigger, like fire. I wondered if maybe he could be on his way to clean himself up, maybe try to find a job. I guess this is my way of wishing him good luck. Maybe this is a conversation he had later that day. Let's call it a rhyming, short story, thing.



Gruff demeanor

He's trading in his gruff demeanor
for a look a little cleaner.
'been meaning to do that,
time to throw out that old hat.
I've had the same jacket since '82.
My left shoe's bigger than my right shoe.

"Silly old man, time's past you by".

Not true Sir., My wings are spread, I'm ready to fly.
Sure, I've roamed the streets,
But I gotta make ends meet.
I'll be spit at no more,
I need a purpose, something to strive for.

"I'm tired of all these bums thinking they can go somewhere."

I beg your pardon Sir., but I'll make it there!
Just teach me to fish,
I don't need granted a wish.
Something to magically appear isn't my desire.
I wanna work, live, feel. Do you think they'll hire?
I'm on the brink of extinction,
you gotta understand my motivation.
We're talkin' about my survival here,
my species isn't anything to fear.
Give me a chance to achieve!

"Sir., would you please leave?
There's nothing more I can do for you,
the right choices you've made were few".

Our brave protagonist exits stage left.
He feels crushed, betrayed, bereft.
His struggle is like an up-hill marathon,
it's painful, constant, & seemingly always on.

He's at yet another intersection of the crossroads of life,
falling over the precipice contains nothing but strife.
Let's face it, he was born to suffer.
There's no way out, no way back.
Will our Hero survive this attack?


Hooray! Don't worry, maybe things worked out for him, maybe he's happy with his life. Time to go make "someone else" money.

this is an experiment, this is only a test.

this pen brings power

there's a monkey in this room,
a few actually.
stinkin' dirty animal, shut up!!
what can I do to please the zookeeper?
I'll do a trick for some scraps.
I don't want to punch or fight you,
just insult you,
because I don't agree with you.
How much have you eaten today?
stop stuffing your fat face!
what I want,
what I need from you is
to figure out a way for me to never see you
again.
I bloody well hate you, and you smell
like acid juice.

this feeling, that & the other.

this clean-shaven bum
this vegetarian cutting the head off a fish
this innocent criminal
this walking bird
that pregnant woman flicking off another pregnant woman
those healthy cigarettes
that terrible Mozart piece
this cool warm day
that feeling of regret
that terrible poem
this occupied time
that bad creation
that cold coffee
that warm beer
that informative bad news
those perfect pop songs
that short walk on the beach

2 sisters

the "fruit-ure" looks bright
hot-dogs, mac n' cheese on a saturday night.
wide awake with anticipation,
2 sisters dream of that next vacation.
magic markers to a paper countdown,
here comes Mikey with that same old frown.
write it down, don't forget, we'll make a list,
Grampee MacDonald will always be missed.
If a fight occurs you must make amends,
hurry, make up, before the next episode of Friends.
fast forward 10 years & different states
these 2 sisters have found their life long mates.
does the bond they once shared still hold true?
yearly visits allow them to renew.
if we hurry, we'll get in one more game.
next Summer there'll be a change in her name.
with Love I wish you good night.
always remember you'll be in my sight.

4:58

nervous white walls stare back at me
electric fuzz abounds around me
intrigue has all but left me

I just don't get it.

O.K., I'll keep this short. I'm not one to dishearten the pursuit of someone else's happiness, i.e. hobbies, interests, things to do on a random Saturday, but, and that's a big but:

I don't understand horse racing.

I just don't get it.

In my opinion, there are 3 factors to consider when pursuing an interest.
This applies to all forms of art, music, film, sport, or whatever else we can devout our time to. (trust me, this will be so simple)

1. Do you like it?
Does this new light in your life give you some pleasure? It's quite possible that it will improve your quality of life. That's O.K., embrace it.

2. Do you dislike it?
Does that sound make you cringe? Can you absolutely not sit through subtitles? Is that sport too slow for you to watch? (as the Wal-Mart associate so adamantly told me this morning concerning Soccer.)

Now here's the kicker:
3. Do you get it?
How many times have I said this to myslef? This is what happens when you think you kind of dislike something. No,...It's just that you don't get it. It's not possible to dislike something that you don't understand. I'm not saying that it has to be clear and concise, but you at least have to understand what the artist is trying to do or say, or at least, what the point is to be able to enjoy it.

I hope this helps everyone. Maybe sometime someone can explain the point of horse racing to me. I'm sure though when the time comes for me to understand it, I'll probably dislike it.

what's funny?

In my ever-growing attempt to make this project worthwhile, I often pick up tidbits of other peoples thoughts on things I've written. Let's at least all agree to put my grammar issues, (no lie, I just ran spell-check and the word "grammer" was mis-spelled, I corrected it) mis-spelled words, and general overall usage of the English language aside. I skipped those days at school.

Fans of the book Poetry for Beginners 101, may have enjoyed themselves a little more than supporters of The Far Side in recent weeks. I suppose that raises the question, what's funny? Surely trying to be funny isn't funny. Can anyone always be funny? Of course not. Is anyone universally funny? No way. We live in a world where the majority of people think the American Office is funnier than the original British version. (I know what you're thinking class, and that's my point!)

Opinions!

Yes,..look slightly North as we converse and notice the keyword in my site name, I'll give you a hint, it starts with an "O".

This project started out as nothing more than a hobby for someone who thought they had a little too much free time on their hands. I wanted "something else" to do in '08, and learning Spanish came in a close 2nd. This is free, and allows me to pass a few minutes before my work day gets going.

"But Jesse, why the reminder? Is someone hating on you?

No, but it never hurts to remind people of the purpose of something. We are all one big loving family around here.

All that said, is the fact that I think the soap at work smells worse than the turd I may have just laid funny?

Seriously, this soap makes me want to vomit, I would rather smell,..well,...we'll just leave it. I think that's funny though. Here are a few things for you all to think about this weekend. The following things will never cease to be funny to me. No matter how old I get, how much money I make, what my job is, how good looking I am, or how ugly I am. I will always laugh at the following:

1. Farting- Plain and simple. I think it's a great noise. It can always be different, and surprise you.
(come on, now we're getting literary)
2. People falling- Don't get me wrong, as long as they don't seriously hurt themselves. It's very enjoyable watching people fall, trip or stumble, then look around to see if anyone saw them.
3. Seeing people singing in their cars- In your mind, you always imagine them having the worst voice ever. There is no way that mess sounds good. Why else would they be singing where no one else can hear them?

There's a few, more some other time. Don't worry still cranking out some poems. I'll bring the mood back down to a depressing low sometime this weekend. I love you all!

Estamos todos en este juntos.

Gina, usted es un artista en su propio derecho. Usted inspira aquellos alrededor de usted cada día. Sé este porque usted me inspira y a menudo me encuentro deseándome podría compartir en su vida más que he sido capaz a en los pocos años pasados. Abrace el arte tanto como usted puede y permitir que ello influya en usted de cada modo posible, le hará una mejor persona y permitirá que usted crezca continuamente. Usted tiene una cabeza buena en sus hombros, usted ama su familia, amigos y vida. Nunca cambio. ¡Salud!

You asked for it.


Young adults, lift your heads towards the sky, arms outstretched, embrace who you are,......


just make sure you're not late

We're approaching the middle of the line,
how we doing on time?
Are you where you want to be?
No, but I've got til I'm 33.
What if you're not there?
We said we'd try.
Come on, Stop!
There's no need to cry,
life has not passed us by.
You're alive, you told me that
when you said hello.
Don't mention "them", they don't care to know.
It's a feeble attempt, to try to keep up.
Quick sand, icy roads, half empty cup.
Remember what you're aiming for,
just be careful always reaching for more.
Focusing on status causes damage,
so remember it's the relationships we manage
that can lead us to a fulfilling life.
2.5 kids, dog, minivan & wife.
Ya sure, for some, but that equation
doesn't equal bliss for everyone.
It's hard, I know,
to not look down on those
who reap what they sow.
But we all do, I'm telling you.
When it comes down to it,
at the end of the day
no one knows our fate,
just make sure you're not late.